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You are here: Home / Motherhood / How To Talk With Our Kids About Big Things (Like War)

How To Talk With Our Kids About Big Things (Like War)

March 2, 2022 By Kari Leave a Comment

Dr. Jody Carrington shares how to talk with our kids about big things (like war). 

Plus, hear how other parents handle it, and discover an awesome resource for important chats.

how to talk with our kids about big things-1

“We Stand Free,” based on the ongoing situation in Ukraine. By Samantha Williams-Chapelsky: Abstract Landscape Painter

Talking With Kids About Big Things

First, let me say our hearts are with the people of Ukraine, as they bravely stand against unprovoked Russian aggression. Like many of you with little ones, when things started to escalate last week, my husband Ryan and I chatted about how we wanted to talk with our son about everything. We often include Wyatt (now six years old) in big things going on in our world, and we believe it’s important to do so. This time was a bit different. We gave it some thought and reflected on all the anxiousness and instability over the past two years. It goes without saying, our kids have been through so much. So, we’ve decided to hold off – for now – on talk about this war. We feel like his little six-year-old self has taken on enough these past two years, and his well-being is our top priority.

Let me acknowledge the privilege we have in being able to make this decision. I absolutely get that it’s a privileged position to be in to make the choice to shield him from this for now. Not everyone has the choice to be able to just not talk about it or not deal with it. I totally get that.

If and when you choose to have those conversations with your kids, here are some approaches and thoughts to consider:

how to talk with our kids about big things-2

Advice From Dr. Jody

I touched base with my friend Dr Jody Carrington – a psychologist, speaker, and author of several books including ‘Kids These Days‘ – about how to talk with our kids about big things. She says there is no right way to do it, but don’t underestimate the importance of doing it. Things to consider:

  • Kids listen – to the news, to our conversations, to the things everyone is talking about most. Kids talk with each other – trying to make sense of what they “know”. Their brains aren’t big enough to make sense of it all, so ask them questions: “what have you heard about in the news lately?” “What do you think it all means?”.
  • The job of big people, parents, caregivers, teachers, is to create little places to figure the big things out. You don’t need to have all the answers but making space for big emotions matters.
  • Parenting, teaching, coaching – it’s all an incredible opportunity for self-growth. Ask a lot of questions and pay most attention to how you answer. What don’t you know about? Sometimes kids are our biggest teachers.

Stay connected in times of greatest disconnect. It will be our biggest challenge—and our greatest reward.

How To Talk With Our Kids About Big Things-3

What Parents Are Saying

Here’s what the KariSkelton.com community on Instagram had to say. (This topic was age-specific to little kids.)

“We give them the facts but keep it very basic. No tragic details but we want them to understand that this is happening in our world if they may hear others talking about it.” ~Amy

“We showed our seven-year-old where Russia and Ukraine are on the map and then spoke very generally about what’s happening. We focused on hoping everyone there will be ok, sending them good thoughts, and reminded her that she is very safe where we live”. ~Max

“Keep news off, reassure them they’re safe and be calm” ~Brenda

“With the current situation, I’ve downplayed it with my 9+5-year-olds. I don’t want to worry them.” ~Ally

“We explained it to them in little kid terms that they can digest without scaring them. ‘This country is being very mean and hurting people in this country and the rest of the world is very concerned for the people who live there.’ ~Rachelle

How To Talk With Our Kids About Big Things-4Awesome Resource

We have yet to dive into this but another friend of KariSkelton.com – Nicole – messaged me this resource on Instagram. It’s called A Kids Company About – books, podcasts, and apps to help spark important conversations. Have you used it? If you try it out, please let me know what you think!

Pin this to your Parenting boards. Follow me on Pinterest here.

How To Talk With Our Kids About Big Things-5

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Lifestylist + Blogger: KariSkelton.com
Mom to Wyatt, Moses🐾 + Monroe🐾
Babe on the way! (06/22)
❤ @ryanjespersen
motherhood | style | recipes 👇

Kari Skelton | Motherhood
when you feel like you've hit your max bump but th when you feel like you've hit your max bump but there's still nine weeks to go. 😳

It's truly amazing what our bodies can do. 💛

#31weeks #sunsoutbumpsout #beachball
Life update. ❤ I’ll be keeping this piece of Life update. ❤

I’ll be keeping this piece of art forever. Wyatt painted this for me back in January, when I was isolated with Covid. I taped it up on the wall beside the bed during my stay in our guest room. If you zoom in, you’ll see me in the front with the big baby belly. (Wyatt calls me ‘big belly’ these days!)

Rainbows represent promise, hope, and new beginnings. 

It's been a rough past few weeks for our family, hence my absence online. Thank you so much for your messages of love, concern, and support. They mean so much to us. I know I share a lot with you on here, but I’m not going to get into details this time. Just know we're doing alright. Junebug is great (and kicking and rolling around non-stop!), Wyatt is awesome per usual, and Ryan and I are rock solid.

I had to take a break from work. My main focus has always been (and will
always be) protecting the peace, health, and well-being of our family unit. 

Social media can be a beautiful place where connection and inspiration happens. Unfortunately, it can also foster hurtful and harmful attacks. I’ve learned so much over these past few weeks, and have deeply reflected on my presence and future plans online. I’ll share more soon, but for now, I just wanted to check in, say a sincere thanks, and let you know we’re all good. ❤️
The moment I found out. September 22, 2021. I’ll The moment I found out. September 22, 2021. I’ll be honest - the first trimester wasn’t great. There were moments of joy (like this one) but it was filled with anxiety, scary moments, and a few hurdles. 

🤰I’m playing catchup on some pregnancy blog posts but I wanted to make sure this was up, especially for those who have been following our journey. 

👉 Head on over to KariSkelton.com for ‘Pregnancy Q&A: The First Trimester’ where I get into all of it. Link is in my bio.

❔️Please ask any questions. That’s the whole reason why I share about this. I believe sharing our experiences and personal stories helps all of us feel less alone and often validates what we’re going through. 

(If you can believe it, I took a video of the exact moment I found out but it disappeared from my files. Poof! Gone.💨 Of all the videos to lose…. 🙈 But very happy to have this photo).

#pregnancystories #motherhoodrising #motherhoodunites #Canadianblogger #Canadianmom
Contest Closed. Congrats to our winner @michelle_q Contest Closed. Congrats to our winner @michelle_quay! Thanks to all of you for entering! ❤

➡️ Giveaway! To celebrate @fresonbros first birthday tomorrow (Saturday, March 5), we’re giving away a $250 Freson Bros. GC! 🥳

You’re invited to pop down to the party between 11-5 to celebrate with us! 🎉There’s birthday torte, a whole bunch of perks, specialty tastings, and additional in-store giveaways, including a beautiful Camp Chef XT Wood Pellet Grill! 🙆‍♀️

To enter our $250 GC Giveaway:

👉 Make sure you follow me @kariskelton and @fresonbros.

👉 Like this post.

👉 tag some friends who would love this!

✨️ Bonus entry: Head to KariSkelton.com and leave a comment on my ‘Freson Bros. Turns One’ blog post (make sure to add your IG handle in that comment so we know who you are). 

*This giveaway is open to Canadian residents only and is in no way endorsed or supported by Instagram. The winner must be able to pick up the $250 gift card prize at Freson Bros. Edmonton 5139 Mullen Rd. Contest closes Friday, March 4 at 11:59 pm MST. The winner will be announced on this post before 9 a.m MST Saturday, March 5. 

🚨*PLEASE watch out for impersonation accounts that unfortunately sometimes pop up during giveaways. I will only reach out to you via DM from my account (@kariskelton) to confirm your win and then we’ll coordinate details via email only.
Load More… Follow on Instagram

kariskelton

Lifestylist + Blogger: KariSkelton.com
Mom to Wyatt, Moses🐾 + Monroe🐾
Babe on the way! (06/22)
❤ @ryanjespersen
motherhood | style | recipes 👇

Kari Skelton | Motherhood
when you feel like you've hit your max bump but th when you feel like you've hit your max bump but there's still nine weeks to go. 😳

It's truly amazing what our bodies can do. 💛

#31weeks #sunsoutbumpsout #beachball
Life update. ❤ I’ll be keeping this piece of Life update. ❤

I’ll be keeping this piece of art forever. Wyatt painted this for me back in January, when I was isolated with Covid. I taped it up on the wall beside the bed during my stay in our guest room. If you zoom in, you’ll see me in the front with the big baby belly. (Wyatt calls me ‘big belly’ these days!)

Rainbows represent promise, hope, and new beginnings. 

It's been a rough past few weeks for our family, hence my absence online. Thank you so much for your messages of love, concern, and support. They mean so much to us. I know I share a lot with you on here, but I’m not going to get into details this time. Just know we're doing alright. Junebug is great (and kicking and rolling around non-stop!), Wyatt is awesome per usual, and Ryan and I are rock solid.

I had to take a break from work. My main focus has always been (and will
always be) protecting the peace, health, and well-being of our family unit. 

Social media can be a beautiful place where connection and inspiration happens. Unfortunately, it can also foster hurtful and harmful attacks. I’ve learned so much over these past few weeks, and have deeply reflected on my presence and future plans online. I’ll share more soon, but for now, I just wanted to check in, say a sincere thanks, and let you know we’re all good. ❤️
The moment I found out. September 22, 2021. I’ll The moment I found out. September 22, 2021. I’ll be honest - the first trimester wasn’t great. There were moments of joy (like this one) but it was filled with anxiety, scary moments, and a few hurdles. 

🤰I’m playing catchup on some pregnancy blog posts but I wanted to make sure this was up, especially for those who have been following our journey. 

👉 Head on over to KariSkelton.com for ‘Pregnancy Q&A: The First Trimester’ where I get into all of it. Link is in my bio.

❔️Please ask any questions. That’s the whole reason why I share about this. I believe sharing our experiences and personal stories helps all of us feel less alone and often validates what we’re going through. 

(If you can believe it, I took a video of the exact moment I found out but it disappeared from my files. Poof! Gone.💨 Of all the videos to lose…. 🙈 But very happy to have this photo).

#pregnancystories #motherhoodrising #motherhoodunites #Canadianblogger #Canadianmom
Contest Closed. Congrats to our winner @michelle_q Contest Closed. Congrats to our winner @michelle_quay! Thanks to all of you for entering! ❤

➡️ Giveaway! To celebrate @fresonbros first birthday tomorrow (Saturday, March 5), we’re giving away a $250 Freson Bros. GC! 🥳

You’re invited to pop down to the party between 11-5 to celebrate with us! 🎉There’s birthday torte, a whole bunch of perks, specialty tastings, and additional in-store giveaways, including a beautiful Camp Chef XT Wood Pellet Grill! 🙆‍♀️

To enter our $250 GC Giveaway:

👉 Make sure you follow me @kariskelton and @fresonbros.

👉 Like this post.

👉 tag some friends who would love this!

✨️ Bonus entry: Head to KariSkelton.com and leave a comment on my ‘Freson Bros. Turns One’ blog post (make sure to add your IG handle in that comment so we know who you are). 

*This giveaway is open to Canadian residents only and is in no way endorsed or supported by Instagram. The winner must be able to pick up the $250 gift card prize at Freson Bros. Edmonton 5139 Mullen Rd. Contest closes Friday, March 4 at 11:59 pm MST. The winner will be announced on this post before 9 a.m MST Saturday, March 5. 

🚨*PLEASE watch out for impersonation accounts that unfortunately sometimes pop up during giveaways. I will only reach out to you via DM from my account (@kariskelton) to confirm your win and then we’ll coordinate details via email only.
Load More… Follow on Instagram

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